There was a time when I did not want to go home. If I walked through that door, I just knew there would be another confrontation, and all I wanted was to avoid it. How did it get this bad? What happened? She was regularly mad and frustrated with me, and things weren’t getting better, they were getting worse. My marriage was in trouble, and I didn’t know what to do. “It shouldn’t be this way!” I thought. “I’m a pastor!”
Looking for resources to help us, I found a small group class in a city an hour away from us. The class was a bible-based study of what God says about marriage. The class made crystal clear what the bible said about the role of the husband and wife, the vision of a covenant marriage, and how to love each other. Every Monday we would drive for an hour, attend the class for an hour and a half, and then fight all the way home.
But the more we went and heard what the Bible said, and the more we let the godly people rub off on us, the more we changed. The change so radical, it saved our marriage.
When you’re looking for change, remember these practical truths.
- Listen to what the scriptures says because it does something in your heart. In that class, it was as though the scriptures gave us power. A power to change. It did something for us we could not do on our own.
For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. [Heb 4:12 NLT]
- You need the influence of godly people. Listening to stories from others about how God worked in their lives and marriages truly encouraged us. The truths from the scriptures were challenging, but seeing it in the lives of others, and receiving their prayers for us, gave us the courage to obey.
And let us take thought of how to spur one another on to love and good works, not abandoning our own meetings, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other. [Heb 10:24-25 NET]
I saw how these two things, the Word of God and His people, had always been His chief resources for creating change. Both of these things were stronger than my will power, and helped us make wise decisions.
You see, God provided Christian community so as to help you follow His Word. The scriptures inform us of what godliness looks like, and then God lovingly brings us into the community of other Christians so that we can walk in that godliness.
So I dare you. If you are looking for change, read the scriptures and seek out other Christians. The rest will be history.